Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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