Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
