I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
