are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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