Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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