Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I know her cup size but not her name....
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
