Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
