Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
