I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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