OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
