cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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