I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
