ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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