yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
