i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize