Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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