Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
