That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
