Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
