oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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