i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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