I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
