i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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