i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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