i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
