Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
