what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
