he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I didn't notice because vodka
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
