do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
