we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
