in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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