you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
we should paint friendship bongs
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