i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
