I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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