What a fucking waste of an outfit
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
