remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
