Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
