Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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