Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I have post one night stand depression
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