Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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