I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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