Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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