i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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