would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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