yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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