UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I use my feet as sexual weapons
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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