Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
