PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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