ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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