I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
