I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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