god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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