This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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