I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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