So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
