he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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