the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize