will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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