Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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