I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
