I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
