I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
