my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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